Tuesday Thoughts And What Not To Say

Hi Friends, 

I hope you were inspired from last week to try something new. 

Today, we continue with learning to replace some old phrases that we use, just because they are there in our memory and we haven't replaced them on a conscious level yet. 

Once you read them, I am sure you have either used them yourself, or you were the recipient of hearing such phrases.

 Especially when someone is going through a heard time, it's wise to stop and think before we speak. One of the worst things I've heard after I shared the loss of my brother to suicide, was this: "That is one of the most selfish things to do."  And the woman was no stranger to grief, as she had lost her husband. So, I thought it was a safe person. Well, I learned quickly that she wasn't. 

So, even though summer is a time of fun and vacation and get togethers; like the 4th of July this week, this doesn't mean that people are not hurting. When someone is going through a hard time, it's essential to choose our words with care. I will share phrases to avoid, and phrases to use instead. 

Below is a list of phrases that can come across as dismissive which invalidates or minimizes the pain:

1. It could be worse

2. Just get over it

3. Time heals all wounds

4. There are people who have it worse

5. You should be grateful for what you have

6. It's not a big deal

7. At least you have...

8. You'll be fine, don't worry

9. God doesn't give you more then you can handle

Let's look at what we could replace these phrases with; words that show empathy, validation and support: 

1. I'm here for you

2. You are not alone in this

3. How can I support you right now? 

4. Take all the time you need

5. I'm listening

6. Would you like to talk about it?

7. You've been through a lot

8. Let's take it one step at a time

9. It's OK to feel this way

10. I'm here to help in any way I can

These phrases acknowledge someone's feelings and are offering support without judgment or unsolicited advice. Do you hear the difference? Most of us DO NOT want unsolicited advice especially if the person has never experienced what you are going through. 

Maybe you have something that was really helpful to you that you want to share? You know I love to hear from you. 

Here is this week's affirmation:

I respond with words of empathy

Isabelle

PS: Message me to start moving to a more confident you.

You are loved. Deeply loved. Loved beyond measure.

Until next time,

Isabelle